My mom and Mariah picked me and Gabriel up at 2:00pm today to take me to my annual eye appointment. She was feeling sore (due to her recent hysterectomy) after having Mariah for two nights, so she took me to my grandma’s where we met up with my dad. He then proceeded to take us to the clinic.

Hectic, no?

Once I finally got there, Gabriel and my dad stayed in the waiting room but Mariah wanted to go back with me. Since she’s well behaved, I agreed. She sat quietly on a chair playing with random items of my purse while the nurse checked my eyes. Why is it the nurse is the one doing all the work? I was with her for forty minutes and the doctor for MAYBE ten.

One part I hate the most about the eye check up is the eye drops. That nasty yellow crap to test for glaucoma? It STINGS and makes your eyes run like crazy. Then, once thats over, it dries into a sticky, crusty mess. Sexy for those close ups the doctor will do later. Next comes the drops to make your eyes dilate. Why the hell does that stuff HAVE to last four to six hours? Is there NO way of making it last less than that? Seriously. Its hard to do anything when you can barely fucking see. My eyes are still messed up from that.

Its just weird to go in for a healthy eye check up and come out with your eyes feeling worse than when you went in. Just sayin’.

In happier news! My packages came today. I ordered a workout DVD to whip my butt into shape and then I ordered this t-shirt:

I love it!

What is going ON with this week? Seriously. Last night was fine, I guess, but it definitely could’ve been better.

And today? Today motherhood punched me in the fucking face. I do not know WHAT kind of evil has possessed my happy-go-lucky baby boy, but dear God I want it GONE. He’s like something straight out of a horror flick. I swear, any minute now his head will spin and he’ll start chanting in Latin. If it comes to that, I can’t be held accountable for my actions. I’m just sayin’.

To more accurately describe the hell I’ve been living today, let me ask you this: have you ever seen the Sharpie commercial where the mom is holding her kid and every time she tries to put him on the floor, he cries but when she picks him up he’s perfectly fine? Yeah. That’s my kid. Except picking him up only holds in the tears for a few minutes. Then he gets bored and starts fucking crying again. So I put him down. He crawls away and promptly pulls himself into a standing position, falls over, looks at me and cries. Rinse and repeat.

Oh! And another lovely gem of the day? I’m running out of diapers but trying to hold off going to the store until tomorrow because HELLO! My kid is CRANKY! This plan was going fine until I noticed a rather disgusting fact: my son has DIARRHEA. Are you fucking KIDDING me?

At least he has an excuse for his crabbiness. I MIGHT let him live.

But still.

It’s been a bad day. And there’s still three hours until bedtime.

Someone hold me. Or take my kid home for the night.